So why did i choose the title of this blog?
The thing is, i don't have any special reason. No deeper meaning behind those words. No symbolism that hides some special experience. I was just having coffee with a friend one Sunday afternoon. That day i was running words in my head to use as a title for a new blog. I practically used up all the word combinations of the things that i saw at that cafe, and they were all unavailable. Then this certain combination came up.
And that is how we got here.
so i tried to cut myself again. how many times have i done this? well, i couldn't finish it. either the razor is not sharp enough or i'm just too scared of the pain. it's probably the latter. after crying for sometime, i started to laugh at myself for not being able just get this done. nothing would really change, i have already made my decision. what i don't understand is, why i keep on delaying it. i don't want to hurt anyone and i don't want to hurt anymore. my life doesn't seem so bad. i don't feel bad, not at all. actually, i feel blessed and well loved. and, i am grateful for all that. however, that all means nothing. it never did. there's just nothing within or without me that makes me feel that i should keep on doing this. whether i experience new things or meet new people - it would all feel pointless. so everyday, i ask myself, why stay? why am i still here? Perhaps the only reason why i haven't killed myself yet is t...
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