clowns.
what do they represent?
---
clowns have always been scary for me.
i don't really have any bad experiences with them when i was younger. quite frankly, i never really have that much chance to meet them. yet, i can still get terrified with them.
subconsiously, it might not be how they look like or how they act that scares me. it's what they represent.
---
when you see a clown, you see exaggerated features of happy or sad faces. to most children both the sad and happy clowns are still funny. the faces clearly express their intended emotion. the really pale makeup excessively enhances the already large smiling or pouting lips and subtly hides the eyes.
it is a mask.
the clown wears a mask that hides the true disposition of the person. the clown may look happy or sad but you have no idea what he might be feeling. quite an effective mask.
it is, however, a different kind of mask. for other masks just hides the face and the emotions behind. they are mostly neutral. some masks are just plain and once worn, you immediately realize that you have little to no idea what kind of face is behind it.
however, a clown's mask shows you an emotional face. it is not neutral. it is by nature, misleading. that is what scares me.
i can accept that i may never really know (and most of the time not have an idea at all) of how people feels and how they would react. however, it scares me that i may misinterpret them all too faultily. the neutral mask is safer since you don't have any presumptions. the clown's mask leads you somewhere that might be completely off track. that fact it is leading at all, is in itself a scarier (but more effective) kind of disguise. the intent becomes malicious.
though it seems to be a big part of my life, i have always feared not being able to understand people. i was never a good judge of character, nor good at understanding how people feels. i often find it quite difficult to even socialize with them without really getting paranoid. although, i have learned to hide that fear when i'm in a group - it still could keep me awake at night.
these might just be manifestations of insecurities but they have a way of sublimely creeping into my everyday life - like the disguise they skillfully epitomizes.
even now, i have no solution to this dilemma. yet to survive this, i seem to unconsciously try to wear a disguise of my own.
for to live in a world full of masks, you have to wear one yourself.
--------------------
2013-08-10 11:36pm
@hougang, sg
what do they represent?
---
clowns have always been scary for me.
i don't really have any bad experiences with them when i was younger. quite frankly, i never really have that much chance to meet them. yet, i can still get terrified with them.
subconsiously, it might not be how they look like or how they act that scares me. it's what they represent.
---
when you see a clown, you see exaggerated features of happy or sad faces. to most children both the sad and happy clowns are still funny. the faces clearly express their intended emotion. the really pale makeup excessively enhances the already large smiling or pouting lips and subtly hides the eyes.
it is a mask.
the clown wears a mask that hides the true disposition of the person. the clown may look happy or sad but you have no idea what he might be feeling. quite an effective mask.
it is, however, a different kind of mask. for other masks just hides the face and the emotions behind. they are mostly neutral. some masks are just plain and once worn, you immediately realize that you have little to no idea what kind of face is behind it.
however, a clown's mask shows you an emotional face. it is not neutral. it is by nature, misleading. that is what scares me.
i can accept that i may never really know (and most of the time not have an idea at all) of how people feels and how they would react. however, it scares me that i may misinterpret them all too faultily. the neutral mask is safer since you don't have any presumptions. the clown's mask leads you somewhere that might be completely off track. that fact it is leading at all, is in itself a scarier (but more effective) kind of disguise. the intent becomes malicious.
though it seems to be a big part of my life, i have always feared not being able to understand people. i was never a good judge of character, nor good at understanding how people feels. i often find it quite difficult to even socialize with them without really getting paranoid. although, i have learned to hide that fear when i'm in a group - it still could keep me awake at night.
these might just be manifestations of insecurities but they have a way of sublimely creeping into my everyday life - like the disguise they skillfully epitomizes.
even now, i have no solution to this dilemma. yet to survive this, i seem to unconsciously try to wear a disguise of my own.
for to live in a world full of masks, you have to wear one yourself.
--------------------
2013-08-10 11:36pm
@hougang, sg
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