Peace and Dignity

What have i left to give to this world
But my sadness, fear and insecurities?
And my fake smiles, and my fake laughs?
For i am not worth a second, nor a thought.

Do i not have the right to seek in death,
What life has so long denied of me?
Grant me this last selfish act,
And i will consume no more of this world.

-----
2015-08-26 1041H
@sg

Comments

If It is Alright

For as long as i can remember, i have always been afraid of people, of change and of life in general. If i could have hidden from everyone and died off from the eyes of the world, i would have. Everything around me seemed like a threat to my being. With no apparent reason, my surroundings felt like a kaleidoscope of colors with ulterior motives bent on hurting me. I never felt comfortable. Despite all of that, i have led my life as if things were okay, as if my fears did not matter. So, i tried. Through all the days that never seem to end, i have grown tired, exhausted from pretending i was fine, all spent from hoping things will turn normal. I have not changed, not at all. Things are exactly as i remember them when i was younger, the exact same way that i used to see them. All my efforts and hopes to live in a world where i do not have to fear tomorrow have never managed a dent from my idiosyncrasy. Maybe i was never really mea...

The Certain Uncertainty

Life is full of twists and turns, with too much change and too little permanence, and too unpredictable. Just when you thought you’ve figured it all out, the world turns upside down. Just when you’ve readied yourself for changes about to come, it settles down and quiets itself. It makes planning your life both skill and luck. What makes living in this world quite interesting is that even if you don’t have any choice where and how you start out, you’ll never be quite sure where you’ll end up. No one, obviously, had any choice whose parents they will be born from. You weren’t allowed to choose which country to be born at, or what time or which conditions. We were just brought here, into this world by some universal scheme that could be attributed to combination of exchange of genes, chance encounters, long-winded decisions; and for some people, divine intervention. Whether you want it or not, or whether it was due to some accidental online dating or arranged marriage, you were b...

Too Surreal

sometimes i wish that the world would just change drastically. sometimes it just feels like there's not enough room for the potential to truly grow in this world. it's too constricting and restricting. my head feels it's about to burst from all my imaginings. yet it is always at the brink, never really breaching the edge. there are ways to turn all those that i see in my mind and even share them to the world but they will always be poor representations of the universe that i can barely experience. they will always be bound by the laws of nature, physics, society, time and even simply of age. it might just be me feeling older today yet realizing how much more i wish to experience in reality - that just do not exist. they are all in my head, and most of them would just remain there. it is frustrating that they would stay only as day dreams, never given a chance to fully manifest themselves in this world simply because they are too fantastic or too surreal. so unlike th...

The Strange Cup