Skip to main content

The Breaking of a Heart

as if a string of joy is being pulled out from my heart,
leaving me empty and longing for the days that has gone by.
how do i sate or stunt this growing hollow in my chest,
when neither time nor hope marries with this goodbye.

my cold hands tremble from losing more of what i had,
where once my world has spun from my own turns,
i now hold memories like the trifling light of a candle,
falsely quivering against the darkness where it yearns.

had i my wishes and my life directed, i will never let this go,
for tomorrow's arms are shallow and unforgivingly lonely.
i would rather stay in the fantasy of the time that was borrowed,
to rather break a tenured life that is hurting so deeply.

how i learned too late the trouble of holding on for too long,
or the after sorrow of holding on for far too tightly.
when it is time to let go, whether by will or by chance alone,
we become incomplete, ever longing for what was taken or lost.

it seems the only comfort i could ever find are silent words,
all of which stand witness to emotions that is self-sustaining,
churning and gnawing at the very fibers of my faltering core.
how can i breathe again when my heart is woefully broken?


--------------
created:
2010-10-29
11:32am @office, bedok
based on a journal entry (2013-09-03)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Too Surreal

sometimes i wish that the world would just change drastically. sometimes it just feels like there's not enough room for the potential to truly grow in this world. it's too constricting and restricting. my head feels it's about to burst from all my imaginings. yet it is always at the brink, never really breaching the edge. there are ways to turn all those that i see in my mind and even share them to the world but they will always be poor representations of the universe that i can barely experience. they will always be bound by the laws of nature, physics, society, time and even simply of age. it might just be me feeling older today yet realizing how much more i wish to experience in reality - that just do not exist. they are all in my head, and most of them would just remain there. it is frustrating that they would stay only as day dreams, never given a chance to fully manifest themselves in this world simply because they are too fantastic or too surreal. so unlike th...

The Certain Uncertainty

Life is full of twists and turns, with too much change and too little permanence, and too unpredictable. Just when you thought you’ve figured it all out, the world turns upside down. Just when you’ve readied yourself for changes about to come, it settles down and quiets itself. It makes planning your life both skill and luck. What makes living in this world quite interesting is that even if you don’t have any choice where and how you start out, you’ll never be quite sure where you’ll end up. No one, obviously, had any choice whose parents they will be born from. You weren’t allowed to choose which country to be born at, or what time or which conditions. We were just brought here, into this world by some universal scheme that could be attributed to combination of exchange of genes, chance encounters, long-winded decisions; and for some people, divine intervention. Whether you want it or not, or whether it was due to some accidental online dating or arranged marriage, you were b...

A World of Clowns

clowns. what do they represent? --- clowns have always been scary for me. i don't really have any bad experiences with them when i was younger. quite frankly, i never really have that much chance to meet them. yet, i can still get terrified with them. subconsiously, it might not be how they look like or how they act that scares me. it's what they represent. --- when you see a clown, you see exaggerated features of happy or sad faces. to most children both the sad and happy clowns are still funny. the faces clearly express their intended emotion. the really pale makeup excessively enhances the already large smiling or pouting lips and subtly hides the eyes. it is a mask. the clown wears a mask that hides the true disposition of the person. the clown may look happy or sad but you have no idea what he might be feeling. quite an effective mask. it is, however, a different kind of mask. for other masks just hides the face and the emotions behind. they are mostly ne...